Singelyatzy!
Har Lady Gaga faktisk begynt med country? Er David Bowie døende? Finn ut dette, og mer, i ukens Singelyatzy!
Etter en skuffende runde forrige uke, bestemte Lydverkets yatzyspillere seg for ikke å vente for lenge med å dra i gang et nytt terningspillparti. Nye låter fra Lady Gaga, Lil’ Wayne & Rick Ross, Battles, Flaming Lips & Neon Indian og Panda Bear ble lagt i spilleren – resultatet leser du under. Klikk på låttitlene dersom du har lyst til å høre låta!
Les de fem første rundene med Singelyatzy her!
Dette er reglene:
Panelet hører gjennom fem ferske låter for aller første gang, og rangerer kvaliteten med terningkast. Én gjennomlytting er alt som er tillatt, og ved endt runde – det vil si etter at alle singlene er vurdert – må panelet bestemme seg for hvor kastet skal plasseres på yatzyblokka. Målet er selvsagt å få best mulig totalscore når alle rutene er fylt ut.
Lady Gaga – «Born This Way (Country Road Version)»
Maria: Var det et… munnspel?
Andreas: Om det så var, så nekter jeg å tro at det var et menneske som spilte. Dette virket meget syntetisk.
Jacob: Jeg håpte i det lengste at dette skulle være en jeansreklame, slik at det hadde vært over etter førti sekunder. Dette er misbruk av studiotid. Hvem – hvem – har tenkt at dette var en god idé?
Andreas: Kanskje hun trengte innpass på country-radiostasjonene i USA?
Maria: Den er vel fortsatt for homopromoterende til at denne kan gå hjem hos de mest innavla countryfolka?
Andreas: Det handler ikke lenger om å være homo. Denne låta handler nå om å kjøre bil.
Jacob: Det som er trist, er at dette liksom skal være country. Det er jo ikke country!
Maria: Hadde det ikke vært for at dama synger selv, hadde jeg avfeid det som en utrolig lite sjarmerende coverversjon.
Andreas: Jeg ville gitt dette en toer – ene og alene fordi jeg mener originalen er en ener, og at denne er marginalt bedre.
Maria: Jeg tenker omvendt. Jacob?
Jacob: Aldri i verden om jeg løfter denne låta opp fra eneren.
Terningkast: 
Lil’ Wayne & Rick Ross – «If I Die Today»
Andreas: «If I die today it’s gonna be a holiday». HAHA!
Jacob: Hva mener han med at han har en «chopper in the car»?
Andreas: AK47.
Maria: Ah. Imponerende mange holiday-referanser, men den var ikke akkurat spekket med høydepunkt, denne låta?
Andreas: Neida, det bare går og går. Men jeg syns Lil’ Wayne høres bedre ut enn på lenge, og Rick Ross er også stødig. Jeg ville gitt det en fire.
Jacob: Jeg syns dette var helt topp, jeg!
Maria: Enig med fireren til Andreas.
Jacob: Hrmpf.
Terningkast: 
Battles ft. Matias Aguayo – «Ice Cream«
Maria: Siste delen minna meg om Traveling Strawberrys. Men ellers var det veldig moro!
Andreas: Jeg syns det siste minuttet var det beste, jeg.
Jacob: Hele låta var dritgøy. De kledde den tilbakeholdne vokalen.
Andreas: Typisk låt som enten blir veldig mye bedre, eller veldig mye mer slitsom, dersom man hører den mange ganger.
Jacob: Helt fantastisk tromming, da! Deilig å høre at ikke alle flinkiser begynner i metallband.
Maria: Støttes! Lander vi på en femmer?
Jacob: Det gjør vi nok.
Terningkast: 
Flaming Lips & Neon Indian – «Is David Bowie Dying?»
Maria: Hm. Jeg vet ikke helt, jeg.
Andreas: Jeg føler at dette er noe jeg burde synes var bra, men… David Bowie-referansen var i alle fall fet.
Jacob: Ja, de spiller jo hele «Space Oddity». Synes hele låta tar opp et betimelig spørsmål – jeg går jo rundt og tror at fyren skal daue når som helst.
Maria: For meg bikker dette over i kjedelig. Sorry.
Andreas: Jeg føler meg litt ekskludert fra hele låta.
Jacob: Men hørte dere ikke den fantastiske klang-klang-gitaren? Jeg synes at det er dødsbra at de tar David Bowie-referansen på alvor, og spør du meg er dette et Flaming Lips på riktig vei. Jeg er lei alle kosedyrene.
Andreas: Låta er som skapt for deg da, Jacob.
Maria: Jepp, her hjelper det med et vått forhold til musikkhistorien. Hva med at du kaster terningen, og så trekker vi fra én?
Jacob: Jeg sier fem.
Andreas: En firer it is.
Terningkast: 
Panda Bear – «Surfers Hymn»
Andreas: Jeg kasta ut min indre hippie for alt for lenge siden til at jeg fullt ut kan omfavne dette.
Jacob: Ja, litt døllt?
Maria: Jeg er mer positiv. Det var jo ganske pent, og så likte jeg at de kødda med melodien ved å la den blippinga kjøre i bakgrunnen.
Andreas: Jeg følte ingenting.
Maria: Jeg syns det var som å sitte på en trestamme ute i skogen, med en Pacman svirrende rundt deg. Og det er ikke så verst.
Jacob: Merker jeg blir vennligere innstilt av at du legger det frem slik…
Maria: Da banker jeg gjennom en firer.
Terningkast: 
Konklusjon:
Et løft i forhold til forrige uke, og panelet greier endeleg å samle sammen tre like. Men de blir selvsagt ikke satt under streken – her gjelder det å tenke på bonusen. 12 poeng på Firere i ukens runde, altså. Helt til å leve med!
Panel:
Andreas Øverland – anmelder for Lydverket og programleder og produsent for Popsalongen på P3
Jocob Krogvold - produksjonsassistent
Maria Horvei – anmelder og nettmedarbeider
Tags: battles, born this way, country road version, flaming lips, ice cream, if i die today, is david bowie dying?, lady gaga, Lil' Wayne, neon indian, Panda Bear, Rick Ross, surfers hymn
uhh,illuminati bitch… her er btw planen til iluminati:
THE SECRET COVE
De mektigste i verden har en plan.Dette er ILLUMINATIS plan.oppfordrer NRK til å skrive om det…hvis de tør!:
An illusion it will be, so large, so vast it will escape their perception. Those who will see it will be thought of as insane. We will create separate fronts to prevent them from seeing the connection between us. We will behave as if we are not connected to keep the illusion alive. Our goal will be accomplished one drop at a time so as to never bring suspicion upon ourselves. This will also prevent them from seeing the changes as they occur. We will always stand above the relative field of their experience for we know the secrets of the absolute. We will work together always and will remain bound by blood and secrecy. Death will come to he who speaks.
We will keep their lifespan short and their minds weak while pretending to do the opposite. We will use our knowledge of science and technology in subtle ways so they will never see what is happening. We will use soft metals, aging accelerators and sedatives in food and water, also in the air. They will be blanketed by poisons everywhere they turn. The soft metals will cause them to lose their minds. We will promise to find a cure from our many fronts, yet we will feed them more poison. The poisons will be absorbed through their skin and mouths, they will destroy their minds and reproductive systems. From all this, their children will be born dead, and we will conceal this information. The poisons will be hidden in everything that surrounds them, in what they drink, eat, breathe and wear. We must be ingenious in dispensing the poisons for they can see far. We will teach them that the poisons are good, with fun images and musical tones. Those they look up to will help. We will enlist them to push our poisons.
They will see our products being used in film and will grow accustomed to them and will never know their true effect. When they give birth we will inject poisons into the blood of their children and convince them its for their help. We will start early on, when their minds are young, we will target their children with what children love most, sweet things. When their teeth decay we will fill them with metals that will kill their mind and steal their future. When their ability to learn has been affected, we will create medicine that will make them sicker and cause other diseases for which we will create yet more medicine. We will render them docile and weak before us by our power. They will grow depressed, slow and obese, and when they come to us for help, we will give them more poison.
We will focus their attention toward money and material goods so they many never connect with their inner self. We will distract them with fornication, external pleasures and games so they may never be one with the oneness of it all. Their minds will belong to us and they will do as we say. If they refuse we shall find ways to implement mind-altering technology into their lives. We will use fear as our weapon. We will establish their governments and establish opposites within. We will own both sides. We will always hide our objective but carry out our plan. They will perform the labor for us and we shall prosper from their toil.
Our families will never mix with theirs. Our blood must be pure always, for it is the way. We will make them kill each other when it suits us. We will keep them separated from the oneness by dogma and religion. We will control all aspects of their lives and tell them what to think and how. We will guide them kindly and gently letting them think they are guiding themselves. We will foment animosity between them through our factions. When a light shall shine among them, we shall extinguish it by ridicule, or death, whichever suits us best. We will make them rip each other’s hearts apart and kill their own children. We will accomplish this by using hate as our ally, anger as our friend. The hate will blind them totally, and never shall they see that from their conflicts we emerge as their rulers. They will be busy killing each other. They will bathe in their own blood and kill their neighbors for as long as we see fit.
We will benefit greatly from this, for they will not see us, for they cannot see us. We will continue to prosper from their wars and their deaths. We shall repeat this over and over until our ultimate goal is accomplished. We will continue to make them live in fear and anger though images and sounds. We will use all the tools we have to accomplish this. The tools will be provided by their labor. We will make them hate themselves and their neighbors. We will always hide the divine truth from them, that we are all one. This they must never know! They must never know that color is an illusion, they must always think they are not equal. Drop by drop, drop by drop we will advance our goal. We will take over their land, resources and wealth to exercise total control over them. We will deceive them into accepting laws that will steal the little freedom they will have. We will establish a money system that will imprison them forever, keeping them and their children in debt.
When they shall ban together, we shall accuse them of crimes and present a different story to the world for we shall own all the media. We will use our media to control the flow of information and their sentiment in our favor. When they shall rise up against us we will crush them like insects, for they are less than that. They will be helpless to do anything for they will have no weapons. We will recruit some of their own to carry out our plans, we will promise them eternal life, but eternal life they will never have for they are not of us. The recruits will be called initiates and will be indoctrinated to believe false rites of passage to higher realms. Members of these groups will think they are one with us never knowing the truth. They must never learn this truth for they will turn against us. For their work they will be rewarded with earthly things and great titles, but never will they become immortal and join us, never will they receive the light and travel the stars. They will never reach the higher realms, for the killing of their own kind will prevent passage to the realm of enlightenment. This they will never know. The truth will be hidden in their face, so close they will not be able to focus on it until its too late. Oh yes, so grand the illusion of freedom will be, that they will never know they are our slaves.
When all is in place, the reality we will have created for them will own them. This reality will be their prison. They will live in self-delusion. When our goal is accomplished a new era of domination will begin. Their minds will be bound by their beliefs, the beliefs we have established from time immemorial. But if they ever find out they are our equal, we shall perish then. THIS THEY MUST NEVER KNOW. If they ever find out that together they can vanquish us, they will take action. They must never, ever find out what we have done, for if they do, we shall have no place to run, for it will be easy to see who we are once the veil has fallen. Our actions will have revealed who we are and they will hunt us down and no person shall give us shelter.
This is the secret covenant by which we shall live the rest of our present and future lives, for this reality will transcend many generations and life spans. This covenant is sealed by blood, our blood. We, the ones who from heaven to earth came. This covenant must NEVER, EVER be known to exist. It must NEVER, EVER be written or spoken of for if it is, the consciousness it will spawn will release the fury of the PRIME CREATOR upon us and we shall be cast to the depths from whence we came and remain there until the end time of infinity itself.
Tør og tør. Du har vel dekket tematikken ganske godt her, vil jeg jeg påstå.
Men for ytterlige buktninger nedover den paranoide spiralen anbefales denne gamle klassikeren:
http://www.nrk.no/lydverket/jay-z-vil-drepe-jesus-og-dyrker-satan/
Så hvis denne teksten er korrekt:
«It must NEVER, EVER be written or spoken of for if it is, the consciousness it will spawn will release the fury of the PRIME CREATOR upon us and we shall be cast to the depths from whence we came and remain there until the end time of infinity itself.», så har vel Optimus Prime allerede kastet de ned i dypet? Case solved! På tide med sjokoladekake!
akkurat ja… la den samme kommentaren under historien om Astrid med Downs på forsiden av nrk… måtte gjøre det da det er svært få artikler som faktisk er mulig å kommentere…fem minutter senere hadde nrk fjerna saken fra hovedsiden sin..
ok da..er du så blind at du ikke ser at dette faktisk er i ferd med å skje, så er det opp til deg.
stay dumb
Vel….Flott at dere skriver om dette. oppfordrer dere til å sette artikkelen øverst på hovedsiden.. til alles beskuelse…
Jacob: Helt fantastisk tromming, da! Deilig å høre at ikke alle flinkiser begynner i metallband.
Trommis John Stanier spillte i Helmet og Tomahawk.
Det er nok litt feilreferering frå sekretærens side, dette.
1. Jacob veit at Stanier speler i Helmet og Tomahawk.
2. Han bruker aldri f-ordet.
Det han faktisk sa var: Deilig å høre at ikke alle dyktige trommeslagere bare spiller i metallband.
Så, slik var det med den saken:)
Maria
Takk Maria og Bendik.
Jeg skal aldri mer mumle når vi spiller Yatzy.
Jacob.
[...] Forrige runde Singelyatzy endte blant annet i Lady Gaga-slakt og Flaming Lips-uenighet. Med friskt mot pløyer nå panelet gjennom nye låter fra Jane’s Addiction, Toro y Moi, Hodger Beats, Allison Krauss og Theophilus London. Et sterkt heat på papiret – men hvor lander terningene? [...]
[...] Det knytter seg store forventninger til New York-trioen Battles‘ andrealbum Gloss Drop, som slippes løs på verden 6. juni. Debuten Mirrored (2007) vant over klodens musikkelskere med sin mikstur av intrikat postrock og klaustrofobisk elektronika, og første smakebit fra oppfølgeren lover godt: Da Lydverkets Singelyatzy-panel hørte singelen “Ice Cream” i slutten av mars, trillet de en kollektiv femmer for den. [...]